3 Things You Didn't Know Were A Part of Recovering From Birth

When you imagine your life after having a baby, it is easy to see the diapers, snuggling, and a slew of baby items taking up space in your house. And if you have been reading up on birth recovery, you know your physical needs will need to be a priority in those first weeks home as well. 

We want to share three real parts of recovering from birth in the U.S. that are becoming more and more "normal" but are still quite overwhelming and debilitating. Not because we want to scare you, but because it is never wrong to share about a potential struggle so it can benefit others from overcoming their own!

3 Normal Things in Postpartum Recovery That Can Feel Overwhelming

ONE - Anger, anxiety, and sadness will nestle into a new part of your awareness.

Many people in the U.S. are late to understand the magnitude of the "mindfulness movement" to heighten their emotional intelligence or participate more fully in their self-care rituals. Instead, it is common for feelings to be buried or ignored. Or more common, it is human nature to take any feelings of discomfort and pain and find ways to blame others as the cause. 

In the postpartum period, it is common to feel intense moods, positive and negative. Early stages are referred to as baby blues, and longer lasting symptoms may be signs of P.M.A.D.s like postpartum depression, or postpartum anxiety. Your feelings seem bigger, or maybe even out of control, and it may seem like you are a stranger to yourself. The postpartum person is one that deserves an immense amount of compassion and support. The feelings, changes, and experiences are all combined and are overwhelming. The overwhelm can feel debilitating. 

TWO - It is normal not to know what you want, or how to ask

Having a strong emotional ties to your baby is a developmental trait that has helped our species survive. AND it makes it very hard for some to accept help. But we also aren't designed to do parenthood in such small groups of only two-ish people! 

You may not have a lot of experience with a newborn.  You may not understand what is normal for them, let alone a new postpartum person.  And making sure everyone has what they need and want is a lot of stress! And let's not forget about the to-do lists and doctor appointments. Many women are taught from a very young age that they are the problem solvers and home makers, so learning to ask for help is a very hard thing to suddenly start doing if you have little practice with it.

THREE - Being a new parent with an infant is very, very lonely. 

Many families share with us things like they feel trapped, or they have no focus, they feel constantly tired, and their level of personal hygiene is surprising.

It is a drastic shift in time management when a newborn comes home. For very social people, having a new baby may mean their typical interactions are completely disturbed. And for those in a social circle who don’t have friends, they may find it hard to know how to help or talk about the new things going on in your life.

And for those who don’t have a wide social network that invites you out and helps you have a few shared experiences you enjoy, what seems like your normal behavior of spending time by yourself allows even less opportunity to ask for help.

Whether you are introverted or extroverted, we recommend having at least a two close friends commit to making a visit in the first weeks to spend face-to-face time with you.

Some Tools for working through these parts of postpartum healing: 

1. Since there is no getting away from this new you, advice straight from talk therapists is to "ground" yourself. Start by taking a deep breath to start, plant your feet firmly on the ground, and take a few breaths to imagine your breath traveling into your lungs, and then swirling around your limbs and organs until it reaches the farthest parts of you. Imagine your feet sinking into the floor.  Imagine being rooted to that spot for a few more deep breaths.  
   

2. And the second recommendation is to name what you feel as it is happening to you. By bringing awareness through naming, you are not letting your feelings take over, but you are respecting that they are important, and you see value in acknowledging all the work your mind and body are doing. 
   

3. Ask yourself these questions when you feel your emotions ramping up: "What would help me the most at this moment?" and "Are my basic needs being met?"
   
   If you have friends over, maybe what would help you the most is the garbage taken out — or getting a long hug from your partner — or going to the bathroom!  Take a minute to really look at that moment and forget about planning for what's next. 
   Another tool that helps to identify any needs that need attention is the acronym H.A.L.T.
   
   H.A.L.T. stands for hunger, anger, loneliness, and tired. If you are any of those things, getting those needs met needs to happen before other more complex decisions can be made.
   

Simple and Budget-Savvy Ideas for Soon-To-Be Moms

Babies are so many things — precious, miraculous, beautiful, fresh, sweet, innocent. Oh, and let’s not forget expensive! Our little bundles of joy involve a fair amount of spending, especially at the beginning. With that in mind, here’s how to prepare for your baby’s arrival so you’ll have everything you’ll need without going broke. 

Build a Killer Wardrobe

Throughout the months leading up to and following your baby’s arrival, your body will experience a steady flow of changes. While that might seem obvious, how to handle the effect on your wardrobe can be puzzling. 

One suggestion is to aim for a handful of basics with simple, forgiving styles and neutral colors.  That way, they can mix and match, providing you with a versatile foundation. Also, think in terms of stretchy, comfortable fabrics. Yoga pants, empire waist tops, and wrap dresses can go from the office to a party with the right accessories. 

Putting Me Together points out that you can rely on pieces in your existing wardrobe to help round things out. Fold-over skirts, blazers, and cardigans can stay with you throughout your body’s many transitions — just add a great scarf, belt, or statement necklace for a fab ensemble. By pairing eye-catching accessories with your well-chosen basics, you can enjoy a killer wardrobe throughout the transitions of the coming months. 

Be Ready for Anything

Moms wear a lot of hats, and once your baby is here, it won’t take long to realize you need to be ready for just about anything, all the time. With that in mind, Kindred Bravely suggests thinking outside the box when it’s time to pack your diaper bag. An extra T-shirt provides a fresh change in the event of an ill-timed spit up, hair ties keep your locks away from grabby little fingers, and a wet bag can come to the rescue when there is a mess you can’t properly dispose of, such as a diaper blowout or that spit-up-covered top. 

Research great deals and stock up now — when your little one is here and you’re tired from feedings and diaper changes, you’ll thank yourself for the forethought!

Baby-Friendly Basics

Babies have tender skin, and many moms struggle with finding economical, baby-safe products for the day-in, day-out rigmarole. However, you can DIY a bunch of things that are not only baby-friendly but also budget-friendly and earth-friendly. 

As an example, you can make laundry detergent using ingredients such as washing soda, baking soda, and liquid soap. Baby wipes can be constructed from old rags cut into squares, then soaked with a blend of gentle cleaning agents, such as witch hazel, almond oil, and aloe vera. You can even make a cleaning spray for toys by simply mixing water, distilled vinegar, and lemon essential oil in a spray bottle. You might want to mix up a small amount to take along in your diaper bag for sprucing up your baby’s things while you’re out and about.

Shop Around for Seats

When it comes to your baby’s safety, chances are you are willing to spend whatever it takes, but is it worthwhile to invest in a high-dollar car seat? The Penny Hoarder explains that you’ll likely be better off putting your effort into finding a car seat that fits your budget and purposes. All car seats sold in the US must meet minimum safety requirements, so after that, it’s primarily up to you to determine which bells and whistles matter to you. 

There are dollar-savvy advantages in the convertible and three-in-one style seats since your child can use them until a car seat is no longer needed. However, sometimes buying an infant seat and then moving to a booster is less costly. Shop around for the best deals, and have peace of mind with purchasing the car seat that fits your wallet. 

You have plenty to spend your money on in preparation for your baby, but a little planning can go a long way toward stretching your funds. Build a killer wardrobe with versatile basics, prep essentials, and shop around for great deals. Kids might not be cheap, but they’re worth it!

Your Day With a Postpartum Doula

“Good morning!”

“Good morning, how was your weekend?”

It’s Monday morning and your brand new baby has come home. You’ve been up what seems like every two hours feeding them and getting them back to sleep. Birth has, as it usually does, taken a toll on you, and you’re feeling the pressure of getting back to “normal”.

But it’s not normal.

Your Postpartum Doula knows this and soon you will too.

Settling into the new normal can often be a challenge for parents. As much as people wax poetic about what happens before and during the birth of your baby, it seems few talk about what happens when your baby comes home.

No worries. You’ve come prepared.

A day with a Postpartum Doula is a day with far fewer worries, far fewer stressors, and far more relaxation.

Your Doula, for example, might walk in and know right of the bat what needs to be done. They’ll usually run through the “normal” list of what might need attention.

Are there dishes in the sink? Is there laundry in the hamper? Are there bottles or pumped parts that need to be washed? Has everyone had something to eat?

A skilled Postpartum Doula will walk through these general touch points and be able to quickly assess and address anything that needs attention.

“Let me fill that water for you,” she may say, as you hold your baby in bed, “Is there a snack I can get you while I’m there?”

She’ll pop into the kitchen to grab whatever is needed, return and you’ll chat a bit. Maybe about your birth, maybe about how your baby is doing, maybe about how you’re feeling.

Whatever.

Your doula is sort of like your fill-in for the day-to-day housework and baby care that you may need a break from to rest. Our goal? To make sure your family eases into your new normal as peacefully as possible. That may include laundry, dishes, washing bottles, folding baby laundry, grabbing you a snack, or just holding your newborn while you take a shower for as long as you need.

“See you tomorrow!”

You’ve completed your first shift with your doula and, honestly, wouldn’t have it any other way.

Investing in Postpartum Support is investing in your health and sanity and it’s a beautiful gift to yourself and your family.

Enjoy your folded laundry. We’ll see you tomorrow.

Our Favorite Perks of an Overnight Doula

So often people ask, “Why would you want a doula overnight?”

Super simple.

Because it rocks.

While we think that everything about having a Postpartum Doula rocks, we’re going to share with you the benefits we find to be incredibly exceptional.

1 Your Baby has a Rested Caregiver

Look. Babies are demanding! They require a lot of mental, emotional, and physical effort. From rocking and bouncing to playing and entertaining, your baby needs a ton! That’s okay but every parent needs a bit of a reprieve to truly rest, knowing their little one is in the care of someone who is qualified. Having a Postpartum Doula overnight can be a chance for you to unplug all the way, not just partly. You’re able to trust that your baby’s needs will be responded too even if you’re sleeping peacefully.

2 You Get the Rest You Desperately Need

Parents. Need. Sleep. PERIOD. There is no way around it, there are no alternate options. Human beings must have sleep in order to function properly. If they don’t get it it could result in problems with cognition, mood, and response times. When do you need to be able to make quick decisions?

When you’re raising a child.

When do you need to have a seemingly infinite well of patience?

When you’re raising a child.

When is it important that you’re able to assess and respond to situations?

When you’re raising a child.

This combined with the incredibly close link between lack of sleep with Depression and Anxiety...well, you can pretty clearly see why parents need rest.

3 You Wake Rested and Ready to Take Care of Your Newborn

Taking care of your newborn is your newest responsibility.

On top of your home, your pets, plants, your work, possibly your other children...that’s not even accounting for the healing and care you need to take of yourself.

Seem overwhelming? It can be. And it’s worse if you’re not rested. Having help during the evenings and overnight can be the difference between a peaceful and productive day and one that leaves you frozen or near tears.

4 Overnight Help is for Breast and Bottle Feeding

The main benefit of overnight help? No. Diaper. Changes.

That may sound trivial but hear us out.

You wake, right? You hear baby crying and know they need to eat. The first thing you do is get up out of bed and get your baby from their crib or bassinet, wherever they’re sleeping, and feed them. Then? Then you have to change their diapers, burp them, re-swaddle them, and get them back to sleep. By this time you’ve fully woken up and it will likely take you awhile to get back to sleep.

Meanwhile, an hour has passed and your little one will be awake in an hour or two because, as we know, time between feeds is between the start of one to the start of the other. So two hours between feeds could still mean a 20-30 minute feed, 20-30 minutes doing the diaper-burp-swaddle routine, and then 30 minutes getting back to sleep.

In simple terms? You’re not getting any sleep.

Now, let’s add a Postpartum Doula to that mix.

You’re asleep. Your doula wakes you and brings baby to you, leaving them with you to nurse. They likely walk down to the kitchen to do some dishes or will fold a bit of laundry. You’ll nurse your baby, possibly even dozing off. Your doula is there, after all, baby is safe. As soon as baby is done nursing, you’ll hand them back to the caring hands of your doula and return to sleep while they change diapers, re swaddle, and soothe baby back to sleep.

Doesn’t that sound restful?

It is.

Listen, we’re super over the “parents must be martyrs” thing. You need rest too! Let’s push for a culture that values human lives over some supposed badge of honor that sleeplessness earns you.

You don’t get a badge of honor from losing sleep. But you DO get sleep when you hire a doula! And we think that’s pretty badass.