doula

Why Would I Need a Doula if I plan to get an Epidural? Here's why.

As a doula, I see so many people say they don’t need or want birth support from a doula because they either have their partner or are planning on getting an epidural. Why would I need a doula when I’m planning on getting an epidural? Im here to tell you that a doula’s support with an epidural is also SO beneficial! Here’s why.

 

If you’re not familiar with the epidural and labor, here are some quick facts.

1.      An epidural provides pain relief by numbing from about the bellybutton down to your feet.

2.      An epidural can be a great choice for someone who has low pain tolerance.

3.      An epidural does not always work for everyone.

4.      Having an epidural does not mean you can’t labor in different positions

 

I love talking about epidurals and laboring because I feel like there is so much to learn. So many people think you just have to lay in bed. While that might be true, there are several positions that can be done to benefit the position of your baby, and benefit your labor! What I don’t hear often is how a doula can be of great support to you and your birth team.

Story time! Last week, I attended a birth with a mama who absolutely knew from the start that she wanted an epidural (you go girl, we love a strong confident girl). This was a very long and exhausting labor and she was very glad she opted for the epidural. Even though she had pain relief, I could tell it was taking a toll on her emotionally and mentally. This is totally depending on your situation because, keep in mind, everyone’s story is different.

My client was completely comfortable but I could tell she was struggling mentally. What she needed in that moment was emotional support and encouragement. My role in that time was to keep her grounded and remind her that everything she was experiencing was normal and her feelings were valid. I reminded her that this process is normal and her body is not failing her. Having that professional there to spit straight facts at the drop of a hat eased their worries.

 

Whether you are planning on an unmedicated labor, a scheduled cesarean, or an epidural, you can never go wrong with some professional birth support from a doula! 

What's Your Favorite Position?

When you think of having a baby, what comes to your mind? Where are you? What position are you in? Do you envision yourself in a hospital? Your home? What about the way you push your baby out? Are you in a bed? Are you laying flat on your back? If so, that is completely normal! Pushing on your back and in a bed has become the standard way of pushing your baby out. While some people may prefer to push and labor this way, there are some other great positions to labor and give birth in that actually work to our bodies advantage.

As a doula and student midwife, I am so passionate and CRAZY about UPRIGHT BIRTH! It just makes all the sense in the world. GRAVITY is your best friend when it comes to birthing. Would you poop laying down on your back? I mean if that’s what you’re into, then by all means, go for it.

Birthing and laboring upright has so many benefits and actually makes for a quicker birth in most cases. Moving around during labor also lets your pelvis move to work with the many changes and positioning of baby while theyre coming down to the birth canal. It is your right as a birthing person to have the freedom to move around and about in labor.

You do not HAVE to stay in the bed. Of course unless there is a medical reason, you or your baby have a life threatening situation that actually permits you to the bed. But we stan for informed consent over here and birthing patient RIGHTS! WOOOO. Anyways, Below are my favorite and BEST positions to labor in and WHY.

 

 

HANDS & KNEES: This position is one of my favorite positions to labor in, personally. Not only does this position take the pressure off your back, it allows you to rest in between contractions, and It also allows the pelvis to be opened. Hands & knees position can also increase your babys oxygen supply.

 

SQUATTING: Squatting is another gravity pulling position! I see lots of my clients use this position when theyre nearing transition. The squatting position gives your pelvis all room to open up, lets gravity do its job to bring baby down, and also makes it easier to bear down when its time to push. You can use a chair to hold yourself during a squat.

 

The Toilet: okay, I know what youre thinking, the freaking TOILET? Ew, why would I ever want to labor and birth sitting on the TOILET? Hear me out… we call this the dilation station for a reason okay. Sitting on the toilet lets your pelvic floor to RELAX, letting your cervix dilate. This sitting/squatting position also opens the pelvis. Combine the sitting position, the relaxation of your pelvic floor, the opening of the pelvis, gravity, and the intensity of contractions, you will get success! I have seen many of my clients go from 0-100 SO QUICK in this position!

 

SIDE LYING WITH A PEANUT BALL: This one is a favorite of mine when the birthing person just needs to rest a little bit. Maybe labor is just beginning or it hasn’t gotten to the active stage yet. This lets you lay down and rest so that youre not too tired. Putting a pillow or a peanut ball between your legs will allow your pelvis to remain open as well.

The CUB : Also known as, Comfortable Upright Birth. The name of this inflatable device says it all and is fan favorite among us birth professionals. The CUB is ideal for women who have an epidural and are unable to freely move around the room.

 

These are just a few of my favorite upright birthing positions to labor and push in! All of these can be used while swaying during a contraction as well. Remember that if being on your back is comfortable for you, then you rock that shit! There is no right or wrong way to birth. Keep these positions in mind if something isn’t working for your during your big day. And remember, we love an INFORMED and CONSENTED, positive birth! YOU GOT THIS!

Written by: Natalie Story

Avoiding A C-Section. Is it Possible?

Pregnancy is such a magical thing. We go nine months dreaming and preparing for the perfect labor and delivery, analyzing every little moment. There are tons of fears and concerns for different people going into labor. Will it hurt? Will I tear? Will I poop? (that’s a whole other topic that we will discuss, but shit happens). One of the biggest concerns parents have going into their big day is, “What if I need a c-section?”. This concern is totally valid. A cesarean is major surgery and usually over with fairly fast. There are many medical reasons for needing a c-section, but the big question is, Can they be avoided? The answer is, YES! A c-section can be avoided, in most cases. However, in the event of a true emergency, sometimes its needed for the health and safety of the birthing person and baby. Please note that if you do end up needing a c-section… that is okay! You are still a bad ass and you are no less than anyone who has had a vaginal birth. We are all AMAZING. 

Anyways, Here are my top things you can do to avoid a c-section:

 

1.    STAY EDUCATED. Its so important to be educated on your rights during labor. Informed consent is real and you can say NO to anything you do not want. Staying educated will let you know what interventions are actually medically necessary for you or your baby.

2.    CHOOSE YOUR PROVIDER CAREFULLY. There are some providers/birthing places that are cut happy and love to revert to a c-section no matter what. If you are birthing in a hospital, check their c-section rates. 

3.    LABOR AT HOME AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. If the birthing person and baby are healthy and there are no further complications, laboring at home as long as possible can hinder any possible interventions that can lead to a c-section. Examples: Pitocin, AROM(breaking of waters).

4.    AVOID INDUCTION. Although there are multiple factors to this, avoiding an induction will minimize the number of interventions needed. 

5.    HIRE A DOULA. Hiring a professional to educate and help you advocate for yourself can give you some of the best outcomes for your birth. 

In hindsight, we can do everything under the sun to avoid a c-section, but sometimes baby has other plans. It’s important to remember that a healthy baby is really the goal and there is no shame in which way you birth!

Written by: Natalie Story

How Do Doulas Help Parents Delivering By Cesarean?

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Labor doulas are typically hired by people planning to have a vaginal birth. A doula's knowledge of normal physiological birth, the constant support through labor, and the skilled hands-on care are all reasons doulas are growing in popularity.

But what if you suddenly need a surgical birth or are planning a cesarean delivery from the onset? Are labor doulas helpful then?

Yes.

When it becomes necessary to decide to have a non-emergency cesarean, after long hours of hard labor, the flood of emotions is intense and overwhelming for many. The medical team will be focused on getting you prepared physically for unexpected surgery.

Your doula will be focused on your mental and emotional preparedness.

Having all your questions answered, understanding the risks, helping you wade through the options all happen before the choice is made. And once made, your doula can help you to prepare for what will happen next.

  • Your doula will outline what you can expect to see, smell, and experience in the operating room.

  • Your doula will outline what the next few hours will look like, and when you see her next (if doulas are not allowed in the operating room), and keeping you and your partner tuned into each other while getting ready to meet your baby.

  • Your doula can help your partner know how they can support you through surgery if she is not able to attend.

Help During Recovery

After surgery, you are going to need immediate help from both the medical team and support team for the first hours after you deliver. Having a cesarean birth is major abdominal surgery, and nurses will monitor your vital signs and postpartum bleeding.

Usually, in those first hours, parents are eager to have skin-to-skin or start breastfeeding. Families now have time together that may have felt stolen because of the limitations a surgery places on movement and autonomy. All of these activities require more care and attention because of the strain they apply to the new surgical wound on the lower abdomen, and a doula is a skilled set of extra hands and knowledge to help families reconnect.

A doula can help with positioning, answer questions about breastfeeding, and be available to keep baby in a safe position. At the same time, the birthing parent continues to come fully aware after the anesthesia wears off.

Planned Cesarean Delivery

For those people who know they are going to deliver by cesarean, having doula support through pregnancy can offer some unique advantages. Having a doula can lead to better home planning for your post-operative abilities, combined with the needs of your new baby. A doula's experience can help you understand what will and won't be possible after surgery and help you identify any ways you may need to adapt.

It's a complicated world post-surgery of understanding your body's new abilities, caring for your baby, and the intense emotions that come with being a new parent. Having a doula helps make all of the big questions seem smaller, and the unknowns easier to adjust.

Doulas are not only for an unmedicated vaginal birth. Doulas are for any person who wants one-on-one personal support through an experience that can be intense and overwhelming.

What Should You Bring To Your Hospital Birth?

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There are so many ways to pack for your hospital birth.

Do you like to have options?
Do you feel best being prepared for any possible need?
Do you need fewer options, so you feel less overwhelmed?


Only you know how you operate best in stressful situations. 

Your hospital bag can serve so many other functions, too, besides holding all your stuff!
Is planning your bag something that helps you relax in the days leading up to labor? Does it make you happy to put it together? Do you like a challenge to start with ALL the things and then whittle it down to what will fit in your ideal case?

OR

Do you see birth as a short overnight trip away from home and pack economically?


Packing your hospital bag can be a “labor project” or something that helps you take your mind off some of the stress the end of pregnancy can place on you.

Here is the part where we reassure you and offer the reminder that people often have babies at inopportune times. And the hospital has things to help everyone - not just people with their overnight bag. Things like toothpaste and toothbrushes, towels and wash rags, and those lovely hospital gowns to keep your clothes as fresh as possible. 

But let's hope you won't need to walk into a hospital off the street, and you'll have time to go to the hospital in the way and manner of your dreams. With that as the plan, what would you bring? 

The items below are listed as a building set. Based on our experiences, we have seen families use the following items and appreciate their being with them from "Essential" to "All The Things." Have fun reading through, and if you think of something that would be perfect for you and it isn't here - pack that too!

What To Pack For Your Hospital Birth

Essential:

  • Wallet: medical card, ID, Debit or Credit card

  • Cell phone & charger

  • 2 Shirts

  • 2 Pants with elastic waist

  • Slip-on shoes

  • Dop Kit: toothbrush & toothpaste, chapstick, any medication & glasses

  • Carseat

Added comfort: 

  • Robe

  • Slippers

  • Book/magazine

  • 2 Nursing bras

  • Dop Kit: lotion, facial cleansing cloths, brush, hairbands, shampoo & conditioner

  • Hand fan

  • Water bottle

  • Snacks

  • Headphones

  • Baby: going home outfit, muslin blanket

  • Underwear for going home

A bit more for the unknown:

  • A printed copy of your birth plan

  • Pillow

  • Preferred nipple cream

  • Breast pads

  • Tissues

  • Extra outfit for baby

  • Essential oils

  • Belly Band

  • Hand cream

  • Battery-powered fan

  • Towel

  • Bluetooth speaker

  • Flipflops

Details for all the things you want: 

  • Any tools you imagine for pain management: birth ball & pump, tennis balls and/or massage tools

  • TENS Unit

  • Rebozo or woven scarf

  • Heating pad

  • Meditations and/or affirmations

  • Eye mask & earplugs

  • Props/outfit for newborn photos

Simple and Budget-Savvy Ideas for Soon-To-Be Moms

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Babies are so many things — precious, miraculous, beautiful, fresh, sweet, innocent. Oh, and let’s not forget expensive! Our little bundles of joy involve a fair amount of spending, especially at the beginning. With that in mind, here’s how to prepare for your baby’s arrival so you’ll have everything you’ll need without going broke. 

 

Build a Killer Wardrobe

 

Throughout the months leading up to and following your baby’s arrival, your body will experience a steady flow of changes. While that might seem obvious, how to handle the effect on your wardrobe can be puzzling. 

 

One suggestion is to aim for a handful of basics with simple, forgiving styles and neutral colors.  That way, they can mix and match, providing you with a versatile foundation. Also, think in terms of stretchy, comfortable fabrics. Yoga pants, empire waist tops, and wrap dresses can go from the office to a party with the right accessories. 

 

Putting Me Together points out that you can rely on pieces in your existing wardrobe to help round things out. Fold-over skirts, blazers, and cardigans can stay with you throughout your body’s many transitions — just add a great scarf, belt, or statement necklace for a fab ensemble. By pairing eye-catching accessories with your well-chosen basics, you can enjoy a killer wardrobe throughout the transitions of the coming months. 

 

Be Ready for Anything

 

Moms wear a lot of hats, and once your baby is here, it won’t take long to realize you need to be ready for just about anything, all the time. With that in mind, Kindred Bravely suggests thinking outside the box when it’s time to pack your diaper bag. An extra T-shirt provides a fresh change in the event of an ill-timed spit up, hair ties keep your locks away from grabby little fingers, and a wet bag can come to the rescue when there is a mess you can’t properly dispose of, such as a diaper blowout or that spit-up-covered top. 

 

Research great deals and stock up now — when your little one is here and you’re tired from feedings and diaper changes, you’ll thank yourself for the forethought!

 

Baby-Friendly Basics

 

Babies have tender skin, and many moms struggle with finding economical, baby-safe products for the day-in, day-out rigmarole. However, you can DIY a bunch of things that are not only baby-friendly but also budget-friendly and earth-friendly. 

 

As an example, you can make laundry detergent using ingredients such as washing soda, baking soda, and liquid soap. Baby wipes can be constructed from old rags cut into squares, then soaked with a blend of gentle cleaning agents, such as witch hazel, almond oil, and aloe vera. You can even make a cleaning spray for toys by simply mixing water, distilled vinegar, and lemon essential oil in a spray bottle. You might want to mix up a small amount to take along in your diaper bag for sprucing up your baby’s things while you’re out and about.

 

Shop Around for Seats

 

When it comes to your baby’s safety, chances are you are willing to spend whatever it takes, but is it worthwhile to invest in a high-dollar car seat? The Penny Hoarder explains that you’ll likely be better off putting your effort into finding a car seat that fits your budget and purposes. All car seats sold in the US must meet minimum safety requirements, so after that, it’s primarily up to you to determine which bells and whistles matter to you. 

 

There are dollar-savvy advantages in the convertible and three-in-one style seats since your child can use them until a car seat is no longer needed. However, sometimes buying an infant seat and then moving to a booster is less costly. Shop around for the best deals, and have peace of mind with purchasing the car seat that fits your wallet. 

 

You have plenty to spend your money on in preparation for your baby, but a little planning can go a long way toward stretching your funds. Build a killer wardrobe with versatile basics, prep essentials, and shop around for great deals. Kids might not be cheap, but they’re worth it!

Your Day With a Postpartum Doula

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“Good morning!”


“Good morning, how was your weekend?”


It’s Monday morning and your brand new baby has come home. You’ve been up what seems like every two hours feeding them and getting them back to sleep. Birth has, as it usually does, taken a toll on you, and you’re feeling the pressure of getting back to “normal”.


But it’s not normal.


Your Postpartum Doula knows this and soon you will too.


Settling into the new normal can often be a challenge for parents. As much as people wax poetic about what happens before and during the birth of your baby, it seems few talk about what happens when your baby comes home.


No worries. You’ve come prepared.


A day with a Postpartum Doula is a day with far fewer worries, far fewer stressors, and far more relaxation.


Your Doula, for example, might walk in and know right of the bat what needs to be done. They’ll usually run through the “normal” list of what might need attention.


Are there dishes in the sink? Is there laundry in the hamper? Are there bottles or pumped parts that need to be washed? Has everyone had something to eat?


A skilled Postpartum Doula will walk through these general touch points and be able to quickly assess and address anything that needs attention.


“Let me fill that water for you,” she may say, as you hold your baby in bed, “Is there a snack I can get you while I’m there?”


She’ll pop into the kitchen to grab whatever is needed, return and you’ll chat a bit. Maybe about your birth, maybe about how your baby is doing, maybe about how you’re feeling.


Whatever.


Your doula is sort of like your fill-in for the day-to-day housework and baby care that you may need a break from to rest. Our goal? To make sure your family eases into your new normal as peacefully as possible. That may include laundry, dishes, washing bottles, folding baby laundry, grabbing you a snack, or just holding your newborn while you take a shower for as long as you need.

“See you tomorrow!”


You’ve completed your first shift with your doula and, honestly, wouldn’t have it any other way.


Investing in Postpartum Support is investing in your health and sanity and it’s a beautiful gift to yourself and your family.


Enjoy your folded laundry. We’ll see you tomorrow.


Supporting C-Sections: Doulas for Cesarean Birth

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Cesarean Birth is something that every pregnant person must evaluate. While it’s not ideal for most birth plans, there is a myth that doulas can’t support a C-Section. False! Doulas can be an incredible source of help for any birth outcome, including a C-Section. Combining a wealth of knowledge and experience, doulas bring emotional, physical, and educational support to each and every client.


1 Emotional Support


Any surgery can be fraught with worry, stress, and a general sense of uncertainty. This is super normal but especially when faced with a surgery to bring your baby into the world. Not only does this affect your life, it affects the life of your unborn baby! It’s no wonder there’s a huge need for emotional support when your birth plan includes a Cesarean. Often fear comes from the unknown. Your doula knows all about common procedures, options, and exactly what will happen once you embark upon your birth. They’ll walk you and your partner through each and every step beforehand and be there to affirm and support during and after as well.


2 Physical Support


Some hospitals allow doulas into the Operating Room. While in the OR, often your doula will stay with you if your partner needs to leave to go to the NICU with baby. Should you feel cold or unstable, your doula can be there to help keep you warm or even just place a hand on your shoulder. Once your procedure is complete and you’re in recovery, often women find themselves shivering and unable to control it or even nauseated. Your doula is skilled and experienced in helping you through these physical symptoms as well as helping you to nurse your baby as soon as possible if you decide to breastfeed. The stress can also get to your partner, your doula can be there and allow your partner to sit and take a breath after the birth of your new little one!


3 Choices in Childbirth


You may not have seen your birth going this way but that doesn’t mean that through the twists and turns you don’t have options. A doula can help walk you through what choices you can make as well as you journey through. From how and when baby is fed to what music is played during your cesarean, you do have choices! There are things that may be available to you that enhance your birthing experience such as clear drapes, skin-to-skin just after birth, and attempting to breastfeed in the OR.  Your doula will be familiar with your birthplace’s options and can help you pick the best things for you and your family.


Maybe you knew you’d need a C-Section when you got pregnant. Maybe it’s a surprise change you weren’t expecting. Planned or unplanned, your Cesarean birth can be a beautifully supported experience with the skills your doula brings. In addition, they can help you know exactly where in Charlotte is ideal for what you’re hoping to experience during the birth of your baby. Your doula will navigate seamlessly, helping to make for a more smooth and comfortable experience for your family.

Pregnancy Dreams and Why They're So Screwy

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You are walking down the street on a normal fall day. As you walk, you notice the breeze pick up and leaves start to swirl more than usual. You look behind you and then turn back to face front only to see a huge purple and yellow cow standing in your path. The cow stand on its back two legs and asks you for a breath mint. As you hand the cow a breath mint, you realize you’re carrying a Star Wars lunch box as a purse.


Dreams during pregnancy can be absolutely wild and downright scary sometimes! Women who are pregnant often experience changes that include more frequent dreaming, nightmares, anxiety-based dreams, and the ability to remember dreams. Since your body is going through so many changes, it’s not shocking that you experience these changes!


Since our mental, physical, and emotional states are all intertwined, as your body changes so does your mind. One likely cause is due to the increase in hormone production. Pregnancy hormones (like Progesterone) often have the ability to affect and increase emotional distress as well as Anxiety. They also impact the way your brain takes in information and processes it. It’s very possible those strange dreams have something to do with that! (This also may be an explanation why a lot of pregnant women find themselves having sexual dreams.)


During pregnancy our sleep schedule is also disrupted. Whether it’s due to an inability to fall asleep, physical discomfort from an expanding body, or just needing to pee in the middle of the night (a million times…) this changes our sleep cycles and disrupts what is known as REM sleep. The REM or Rapid Eye Movement stage of sleep is the stage in which dreaming happens. When this is disrupted it can affect the length, frequency, or even ability to remember the dreams. This may sometimes be the cause of the more vivid or easily remembered dreams.


Some experts also believe that pregnancy dreams are a way of your unconscious mind dealing with the increased stress or anxiety that accompanies bringing a new life into the world.


While there is no actual scientific answer for why dreams during pregnancy are so weird, there are many contributing factors that definitely make sense! If your dreams aren’t bothering you, simply return back to sleep and visit the purple and yellow cow again. If they’re a bit disturbing or unnerving, consider keeping a dream journal either on your phone or in a notebook by your bed. It may be your unconscious mind trying to process something important! If your dreams, however, veer into dangerous or scary territory frequently, it may be a good idea to talk with a counselor, therapist, or friend to check in and make sure everything is okay.


No matter what crazy, alarming, or sexual dreams you’re having at night, make sure you’re still doing your best to rest as much as possible! We do a lot of healing and growing at night and your body is literally making a human being. Relax, take a deep breath, and dive back into some REM sleep.


Sweet (or slightly weird) dreams!


Our Favorite Toddler Shows (without Talking Animals)

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Team Umizoomi

This cute show features two main characters, Milli and Geo, and a robot named Bot. Together they soar through space and explore math concepts. From counting to simple addition and subtraction, this show is a well done dive into prepping kids to enter preschool by introducing numbers in a fun way.


Little Einsteins


An oldie but a goody, Little Einsteins is based on the ideas behind the Baby Einstein franchise. This show’s main characters are Leo, Annie, June, and Quincy. They fly in their rocket and solve puzzles in each episode. Weaving classical paintings and music into each adventure, this show also introduces concepts like patterns, colors, and shapes.


Sid the Science Kid


In classic Ed Henson style, Sid the Science Kid features human-like characters who are very...well, Muppet-inspired. They are definitely kids and Sid, the lead, loves to explore new scientific questions, theories, and concepts. Touching on a range of subjects, this show is full of fun characters and learning.


Yo Gabba Gabba!


Okay, this show isn’t *technically* talking animals because they’re…..well, we don’t know what they are. But the’re not animals. Yo Gabba Gabba is a brilliantly colored show full of electronic music, emotions, and fun dances. While not educational in a school sense, it touches on everyday skills like sharing, brushing teeth, and getting ready for bed. Plus it features some of our favorite bands. This is one we’ll actually watch too.


Charlie and Lola


The misadventures of Charlie and Lola are somehow soothing and precious as these siblings stumble through life learning together. This UK-based show features soft colors, life lessons, and main characters with British accents. This one’s pretty sweet.

Top 5 Books for New Big Siblings

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Becoming a big sibling can bring a range of emotions from excitement to fear. An incredible way to help kids talk about those things? Books! Read your littles stories of big brothers and big sisters to help them understand and relate to what the characters are going through. We’ve gathered 5 great options for your bedtime stories to add to your library.


1. Lola Reads to Leo by Anna McQuinn :


This sweet book highlights the main character, Lola, and her love of reading. She, of course, wants to introduce that love to her new baby brother. From bringing a soft book to her new brother’s crib to reading him a book in the evening, she thinks being a big sister is the “best gift of all”. This story promotes a love of reading and a love of sharing with the new baby, making it the perfect addition to your library.


2. The New Small Person by Lauren Child :


This story is a very familiar tale for many families. An older sibling and an unwelcome change to their dynamic. Elmore Green takes to calling his new sibling “it” and recounts the tale of how “it” licks his jelly bean collection! The shift from only child to older brother can be a tricky one and this book does a beautiful job of combining a common struggle with beautiful imagery and finally reaching the resolution of a new small person being a friend.


3. Once Upon a Baby Brother by Sarah Sullivan:


Older siblings can have very conflicting thoughts about a new baby joining their family. They have typically been the sole focus of their parents for their whole lives! With that shift comes a new dynamic. Sarah Sullivan tells this story from Lizzie, a celebrated and gifted storyteller’s perspective. It’s a sweet and helpful way to introduce the concept of a baby to a sibling who might be old enough to understand just what’s going on.


4. Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak :


A strange fantasy tale, this book is one full of differing emotions from love to resentment. When goblins steal Ida’s baby sister to make her a goblin bride, Ida must go “outside over there” to get her back. This may seem a weird addition to this list but everything that a new sibling goes through, emotion-wise.


5. Ish by Peter H Reynolds :


This book makes the list for the middle siblings. A story about Ramon and his love of drawing, his hopes, dreams, and joy are all dashed in a split second by a comment made by his older brother. When he realizes his art isn’t perfect, he plans to destroy it all until his younger sister steps in and helps him see that art doesn’t have to be perfect, it can be “-ish”. This story highlights both the importance of celebrating imperfections and the bond between siblings.

I Want to be Daniel Tiger's Mom

Photo Credit: https://www.fredrogers.org/

Photo Credit: https://www.fredrogers.org/

Who is your mom hero?


Mine is easy and also doesn’t actually exist. My mom hero?


Daniel Tiger’s mom. Easy answer.


First of all, Daniel and Margaret are adorable. They’re always dressed, bathed, fed healthy foods, and learning important life lessons. While they learn them everywhere, their mom is always there with a calm word and a song to help them.

Daniel’s mom (whose name is actually Collette, fun fact!) is always there with a kind word and a tune to sing. She gets two kids, a baby and a toddler, no less, ready for the day without tears, angst, or frustrated words. She never gets angry, she meets her offspring with an incredible amount of kindness even though she’s asked her son to put his shoes on literally 10 million times.


Goals.


If you’ve ever parented a baby and a preschooler you know that shit’s hard. Dealing with a teeny human and a slightly-less-teeny human is a whole thing. Between getting dressed, the resistance to getting dressed, mealtime, the resistance to mealtime...I think you see the pattern...getting two small ones ready and out the door can be a nightmare. Daniel Tiger’s Mom, however? She somehow always responds in kindness.


Wow.


Can we talk about her voice? She’s literally constantly kind. Her voice communicates kindness, love, and support each and every freaking time. She has a soothing, perfectly motherly voice that makes us want to either fall asleep or roll our eyes. We’re not sure. Probably both.


Literally, how?


We’re doulas here, let’s chat about pregnancy and childbirth. Momma Tiger carried that baby with more grace than we’ve probably ever seen. She then birthed that baby and walked home. Genuinely impressed (and don’t recommend, to be honest, but we digress). She was an inspiration of calm, even when she knew she was bringing Baby Margaret into the world that day!


Remember Banana Swirl?? That’s some Pinterest Mom shit. How were we supposed to know you could freeze bananas and fool your kids into thinking it was actual ice cream? We’re literally still not sure that would fly in our house. So not only is she brilliant, she’s brave AF for trying that one.


Basically she’s our shining example of what a mom should be. Kind, loving, patient, always ready with a teaching moment, and adorable. Thank you, Mama Tiger, for showing us all what we should aspire to (and how to be kind to ourselves when we mess up).

The Best-Kept Not-So-Secret in Pregnancy: Webster Technique

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The best-kept not-so-secret in Pregnancy comfort is within reach.


Chiropractic care has long been a controversial subject when it comes to treating pregnant individuals. While there is some truth to the fact that expectant mothers shouldn’t see any chiropractor, the benefits of seeing a Chiropractor with additional training in the Webster technique is clear.


Overall, most patients report a decrease in their discomfort. If that’s not worth it, there is also anecdotal evidence that suggests alignment of the pelvis can help your baby get into a good position for birth and some patients have even begun labor soon after seeing their chiropractor!


Want to give Natural Induction a try? A Chiropractor may just be your answer!


The Webster Technique is a highly specialized method of treating those carrying a baby. By using modified positions, avoiding some areas, and adjusting the pelvis, your Chiropractor may be able to help you ease things like sciatic pain and general discomfort as your baby grows.


Your little one grows through your entire pregnancy.


(Yes, this is an obvious statement).


This combined with the hormone Relaxin can wreak havoc on your body. Relaxin is the hormone responsible for telling your joints and ligaments to loosen and allow for movement as your baby gets bigger and bigger. It’s responsible for incredibly fun things like your hips spreading but can also lend itself to the “unstable” feeling pregnant individuals often feel.


Bearing this in mind, Webster Certified Chiropractors know just how to work with your ever-changing joints and ligaments to ensure the safety of both you and your baby.


Now, there is a community that would have you believe that Chiro care is “snake oil” and there’s no reason you need it. If that’s you, fine. We’re all entitled to our own opinions, right?


However, Uptown Doula doesn’t subscribe to that. We love Chiropractors for quite a few reasons, including the fact that our clients have seen awesome results by seeing one regularly. Chiropractors are real-life doctors!


Yes, that type of doctorate.


In order to become a Chiropractor one must complete around 3 years of undergraduate education before entering a program to receive their Doctorate. They typically take 4 years to complete on top of the 3 years of undergrad. A Chiropractic degree requires education in anatomy, physiology, and biology as well as business practices and finance. They’re also supervised in a clinical setting before graduating.


Then…


They have to sit for a licensing exam! Not all Chiropractors are created equal and they aren’t legally allowed to treat patients until they’re both educated and licensed.


Basically what we’re saying is this: Chiropractors are legit.


They’re also not all created equally which is why we make sure to let our clients know that it’s important to seek out one who is specifically trained in the Webster Technique. The training involves ongoing reporting of findings as well as tests to maintain membership and ensure that everyone practicing the technique are up-to-date on new developments and the latest safety procedures.


Feeling the struggle of pregnancy wearing on your body? Can you guess what we’re going to recommend?


Seek Chiropractic care!

Oh, you’re looking for a recommendation?


Never fear! We have an amazing one.


Dr. Stefanie Gross is the one you want to see. Not only is she an ICPA Certified Chiropractor (meaning she can see you and your baby), she’s also a doula. You can probably imagine why we love that. Between growing up under chiropractic care and training extensively to promote wellness in families and children, she’s the perfect match for yours.


And, no, we’re not being paid to say this. We just love her!


If you’d like more information or to contact her, reach out to Adjusting the World Chiropractic in Huntersville, NC. You can find them at www.adjustingtheworld.com


All-in-all, we’ve seen excellent results in reduction of pain and facilitation of labor through the Webster Technique. Whether you’re looking for Natural Induction options or just a way to keep your active mom lifestyle, Chiro care may be a great fit for you.


Self-Care Isn't Selfish, It's Necessary

Self-care isn't selfish, it's necessary. Let me ask you a question. If you had 45 minutes of self-care time a day how would you spend it?  

You have kids and trust me, I get it. I’ve got three young kids myself which means I’ve got three tiny little humans constantly needing something from me which doesn’t leave much time for me to take care of myself.

Lets’ be honest here. You can’t give what you don’t have. Just like coffee, if the pot is empty, you won’t be able to fill your cup.

Not long after moving to the Charlotte, North Carolina area I made a conscience effort to take care of myself and make “me” a priority. I told myself, “2018 is going to be my year! I'm going to kick ass and grow Uptown Doula. In with the new and out with the old."

In order to make this happen though, I needed to figure out what was bringing me down the most and start there.  It wasn’t hard to realize what was holding me back... My body image. For you, it may be something else totally unrelated. That's ok! My struggles may be different from your struggles. My needs may be polar opposite of your needs. What's holding me back may not be what's holding you back. Figure out what's weighing you down (no pun intended, I promise) and start there. 

I’ve never had to struggle with weight until now. As a young child I was very active. I was a gymnast, I played softball, basketball and even ran cross-country and track. Throughout the years I never gave much thought about my weight, BMI or nutrition plan. Fad diets were never on my radar either. I ate and drank whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

It wasn’t until the birth of my third child that I noticed a difference in my body. First time around I bounced back pretty fast after giving birth, but I had a harder time after giving birth to my third baby.

I did all the things: I joined a local gym, counted calories, began a running routine, and said goodbye to craft beer. Of course, none of these things were sustainable (for me anyway). I stopped going to the gym after about two weeks, started eating crappy food again, quit running after day 4, and began enjoying craft beer again (By the way, the last one was not entirely my fault. We had company over and I couldn’t let them drink alone. That’s just rude).

Overall, I felt like an absolute failure and began the downward spiral and self-loathing phase. It was horrible and not how I imagined myself being as a mother of three. I knew then something had to change.

A few months ago, I started my two-week, free trial at Burn Boot Camp in Denver, North Carolina. I knew several close friends who raved about Burn so I thought I’d give it a shot. It was two weeks of free childcare. I wasn’t going to pass that up plus it would let me know right away if it was going to be sustainable for me long-term.

Day one was scary and I’m not entirely sure why. The hardest part was making the decision to sign up, now all I had to do was show up and do the work. Full disclosure: This place is intense! Each camp last 45-minutes and you work the entire time plus there’s usually a fun, high-intensity finisher at the end. Because you’re working so hard, the 45-minutes flies by.

There’s your silver lining.

What makes Burn Boot Camp so unique from other health clubs is, you’re actually pushed past what you think you can do. I’m a little embarrassed to say that when I was working out on my own I would use no more than 5-pound weights. Now I use 15-25 pound weights. Don’t worry, you won’t end up looking like a beefy body builder (unless you want to) but you will look and feel much stronger than you do right now. Empowering, yes?

When you walk into Burn, you are surrounded by women, mostly moms, just like you. Being a mother can be lonely at times. We’re so busy and life demands so much from us, so it’s refreshing to meet other moms going through some of the same struggles you are and powering through camp together with the sound of energetic, hip-hop music in the background (we know this is your jam).

No matter what state of fitness you fall into, your highly trained, certified personal trainers are there to guide you, help improve your form, and even dish out high fives along the way. They even provide individualized focus meetings where you set your goals and devise a plan that fits your unique lifestyle. Nutrition is important and your Burn trainer helps build a meal plan that actually works! After all, food was meant to be enjoyed right?

If you are thinking about taking the plunge and joining this amazing women-centered gym, now is the best time to do it! Commit 2 Fit is back by popular demand! This amazing 6-week challenge runs from September 4th – November 16th and is only $99!

This very small investment packs a HUGE punch!

You not only get six full weeks of high intensity (self-care) work-outs, you also get a packet full of information including: Accountability calendar, fitness challenges, eating guide. and stretching routine. 

Curious about what a typical Burn Camp is like? Check out their Facebook page. Billy Haynes is the owner of Denver, North Carolina’s Burn Boot Camp and he’s also the Lead Certified Personal Trainer and a super nice guy who sinceerly wants to help you feel your best!

Why join Burn?

Because your body will thank you later

Because sometimes that push is all you need.

Because working out with friends makes it so much more fun.

Because it cleanses your mind and channels your energy

Because it feels good.

Because it’s addicting and you’ll love it! I pinky swear.

Partner Anxiety. How A Doula Can Help

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Through sickness and health…

This statement doesn’t always include the delivery room. Labor can bring about major feels for your partner.  While they are not the one birthing, we cannot discount that this experience is complex and emotionally driven. The atmosphere may be extremely difficult to navigate and may cause your partner anxiety.

While we have chosen our partner to support us throughout our life, they may not be well equipped to be our “rock” during labor.

Our expectations of them alone, may be enough to send them into a tail spin.

Remaining objective and focused may become impossible for your partner being that they are so emotionally involved. Anxiety can show itself in many ways with the partner. Some partners mentally check out, some faint at the first sight of “fluid”, while others go into control mode making it near impossible for the clinical staff to do their job.

So, if the possibility of panic is more of a probability, add a Labor Doula to your birth team. Anxiety is a major enemy of labor and can be highly contagious. The presence of an anxious partner may spike the creation of adrenaline in the birthing partner, shutting down the labor process or elongating it. A calm and nurturing environment is the ultimate goal for the delivery room.

A doula will never replace the loving attention of your soulmate, they can actually guarantee it, increasing the flow of oxytocin and reducing unwanted partner anxiety.

Labor doulas provide support to both partners, not just mothers. The doula tends to everyone's needs of rest, hydration and education. That way the couple can maintain focus on each other, assuring that they stay attuned to one another.

Just knowing that the birthing partner is being emotionally, and physically supported will lessen stress and absolve partner anxiety.

Thinking of adding a doula to your support team? We find having a doula can help reduce partner anxiety and promote a more calm and nurturing birthing environment. Contact Uptown Doula for your free consultation.

 

 

 

USE YOUR B.R.A.I.N.

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We all know that life often hands us situations that are … difficult… you know the ones that make your blood boil, that cause us to come out of the side of our necks. While in public we can swallow, keep our cool and mover forward, this is not always the case behind closed doors.

Our families have a special talent for pushing our buttons, they may even install new ones.

Our kids are no exception, our kids can… well… cause us to react in ways we are not always proud of.

That’s right most experts say take a deep breath and respond rather than react to your situation, and that is great in theory. But, how do we do that?

The only way to achieve a guaranteed response and not reaction is to use our B.R.A.I.N.

Ask Yourself?!? B - Benefits - What is the BENEFIT to choosing to do this? R - Risk – What are the RISKS involved in doing this? A - Alternatives - Are there any ALTERNATIVES to doing this? I - Instincts - What is your INSTINCT or gut feeling telling you to do? N - Nothing - What if you do absolutely NOTHING right now?

These 5 simple questions are guaranteed to turn the situation around. Asking them gives you a moment to pause, it takes you out of an emotional state, and brings you into the rational.

This is how a reaction becomes a response.

It always helps to have a support network, your doula, a circle of peers, other parents you trust, ones who you hold in high regard for their choices in parenting.

Sometimes feedback isn’t necessary, it’s not their opinions you seek. This might even infuriate you further, utilize them nonetheless, just having a sounding board can be beneficial.

Remember, you will always find unbiased, nonjudgmental support with you Uptown Doula.

I Ate My Placenta

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To eat or not to eat your placenta?

"Hold up! You ate what?” I get this question a lot. It’s usually followed up with, “You mean the placenta that came out of your vagina?” Bingo, although it doesn’t always come out that way. When you tell someone you have encapsulated your placenta or you are considering encapsulating your placenta you will most likely get a lot of comments and if not, you will definitely get a lot of questions. People who don’t know much about placenta encapsulation are curious and might even be a little bit skeptical about how it all works. Don’t worry, I'm with you every step of the way.

Bouncing back

I have three kids and only encapsulated with my second child. Looking back I really wish I had done this the first time around but at the time my husband and I were just starting our family and didn’t know people did this. I mean, why would we even think to ask? It wasn’t until I started integrating myself into the parenting community and meeting new moms (and doulas) did I learn about placenta encapsulation. What blew my mind was, It wasn't just "crunchy" moms doing this. This was a choice all types of families were making and I was eager to learn more. Problem was there wasn't a lot of research out there supporting placenta consumption. Bummer. What I did find was tons of anecdotal information which lead me to want to encapsulate my placenta after having my second child.

The first time around wasn't easy for me. My daughter's birth was extremely traumatizing. My epidural wore off after a couple hours, forceps were used to deliver my baby, and my newborn was rushed to the level two nursery after she was born because she took in meconium during birth, which left me all alone in the labor room for a good hour and that was a very unsettling feeling. This wasn't the birth experience I imagined and looking back I realize this was just the beginning of my battle with postpartum depression. Of course, at the time I denied what I was going through because what did I have to be depressed about? I had this precious baby girl in my arms, my marriage was as strong as ever, I knew I was never going back to being an accountant at my ever so lame desk job, everyone in our family was healthy, my hair wasn't falling out (yet), and my pregnancy weight was melting off. I seriously couldn't figure out what the hell was going on so I sat in it. I sat in this funk for several weeks before getting professional help.

Six months later things started looking up again and my husband and I decided we were ready for baby number two. I spent my entire pregnancy figuring out ways to make this experience different from the first. I hired a doula who also offered placenta encapsulation), found a mid-wife who was open to me having a water birth, read all the books, watched all the documentaries, joined all the local mom groups, and immersed myself in all things birth.

When I got closer to my due date, I was scared. This birth I've been planning for was getting closer and closer and I wasn't sure how it was all going to unfold. Will it be like last time? WillI need the epidural? Will forceps be used? The fear was real but my doula was very reassuring and that made such a difference. Long story short, I experienced precipitous labor so I never had time to be afraid because the entire labor was only three short hours. When my placenta was born we made sure to put it on ice right away so we could get it put into pills as soon as possible. My doula was quick too. She had my pills ready to go before I even left the hospital.

I noticed a HUGE difference once I started taking my placenta pills. My milk came in the next day, my energy was back, and I only had one short week of postpartum bleeding which was ahhhmazing! Those were the obvious signs that convinced me there was something to placenta encapsulation. Overall my mood was more positive. Sure I struggled from time to time. These pills aren't magic and they definitely didn't take away every negative emotion because I still had strong feelings but when negative emotions tried to take over I didn't let it. I was able to feel what I needed to feel at the time and move on.

History of the Placenta

The placenta is a very fascinating organ. It is the only organ that is grown for a specific purpose and completely discards once its mission is compete.  Throughout history the placenta has not only served as a physiological necessity during pregnancy but it has also served as a symbolic function for the baby right after he is born. In this day and age there is still so much to learn about the placenta and more specifically, in regards to placentophagy. Placenta healing has played an important role in the history of childbirth.

During medieval times the placenta was also called, “the bed of the child” because of how much comfort was involved. There was so much to learn about the placenta during that time and by the end of the 18th century the placenta became known as, “the other half of a newborn.” This intimate bond was so great Indonesians would call the Placenta the “brother” or “sister” of the baby and it would become its protector.

In most cultures the tree of life can be found in their history. The mighty trunk represents a symbol of power and peace while the changing of leaves represents a symbol of life. It’s no wonder the placenta is often referred to as the tree of life. When you look at the fetal side of the placenta you can clearly see the symbolic connection. In some cultures such as Indonesia the placenta is planted in a special pot and hung in a waringin tree. Since this tree is long-living the baby can benefit from it’s age over time. In Nigeria, small Ibo villages are surrounded with banana fields. Each banana planted represents the birth of a child and therefore every banana is named after the newborn baby. Throughout the years, the fruits were known to provide nurturing effects and healing for the children. When it comes to fertility, the fruits of an apple tree were considered sacred. If a woman approached a birth tree and ate one of the apples she was to become pregnant with a new baby. Some families would also bury the placenta under their home in order to benefit from its powers of fertility.

Charms were often used to provide special protection to the newborn. In some cases part of the dried placenta would be tied around the baby’s neck or secured to a golden necklace or bracelet. In some instances men would carry a dry piece of placenta in their pocket to bring about good luck.

As you can see throughout history, the placenta has provided so much love and protection for families of different cultures. Today, the placenta is still providing many of the same benefits and we are continuing to learn more about this special organ.

The encapsulation process 

Towards the end of your pregnancy I will check in and make sure you have all the information you need and answer any questions or concerns you may have. You will be in control of your placenta the entire time it’s in the hospital until it’s taken home and encapsulated. That means your partner or family member will be responsible for bringing a cooler to the hospital and having it put on ice within 4 hours and taken home and refrigerated within 4 days. At your next appointment be sure to let your doctor know you are planning to keep your placenta after birth. It’s a good idea to let the hospital staff also know when you arrive.

The entire process is done right in the privacy of your own home! When you are ready for me to come to your house and start the process I will need approximately 2 hours for two consecutive days. I will need access to a stove, sink, running water, small area of counter space and an outlet in a secure location. These areas I just mentioned will be cleaned and sanitized by your placenta specialist.

In order to protect myself and your placenta I make sure to wear protective coverings including a mask, apron, gloves, and safety goggles. I also bring all of my equipment with me and take it all back when I leave each day plus leave your kitchen cleaner than when we found it.

On day one, your placenta will be cleaned and steamed in order to kill any bacteria. You shouldn’t notice any smells as we steam with lemon and ginger. After that I will thinly slice your placenta and place it in the dehydrator overnight. At any time during the process you are welcome to ask questions, take pictures and even touch your placenta.

On day two, we once again clean and sanitize our workspace and grind your placenta which will immediately be placed into capsules. Upon completion we will provide you with consumption guidelines and answer any questions you might have.

Questions to ask your placenta specialist 

“THIS” placenta only gets encapsulated once so when you are planning to hire someone to encapsulate your precious organ it’s important to ask them questions so you understand their values and processing methods. Here are some important questions to help point you in the right direction.

What organization did you train under? You really want someone who is professionally trained to be handling your placenta and processing it for consumption. That’s a no brainer. When they do give you their training organization name, check it out to see if their values line up with what you’re looking for. Usually you will find their mission statement and values right on their home page. YouTube is not going to cut it and if that’s the answer, stop all questions and move on.

Are you blood-borne pathogen certified? This goes hand in hand with the first question and also extremely important to know. Although placenta encapsulation has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration you want your placenta specialist to work like it is.

Do you process placentas in your client’s home? This is the big one. Unfortunately, there is no regulation or strict rules in this industry. Most states don’t even have regulations regarding the transport of your placenta out of the hospital so anyone can take off with it as long as the family gives consent and signs a waiver. When you allow your placenta to leave your possession you have no idea where it’s going, what it comes in contact with or how many other placentas are waiting in line to be processed. That’s a lot of unknown which is why it’s so important to never let your placenta leave your possession. When you have a placenta specialist come into your home you never have to wonder those things because you can watch everything they are doing (or not. Totally up to you).

How many capsules can you guarantee? It’s easy to spot a red flag here. If you are promised a certain number of capsules, stop all questions and continue on with your search. The number of pills you get is all dependent on the size of your placenta. Bigger baby means bigger placenta which means more pills. I will never be able to guarantee a number but I can provide you with a rough estimate. If you are guaranteed a certain number of pills, chances are your placenta is being processed with other herbs or chemicals. That’s no bueno.

If you are interested in placenta encapsulation and want to speak with a postpartum placenta specialist, visit Uptown Doula to schedule a FREE phone consultation. We would love to hear from you!