3 Things You Didn't Know Were A Part of Recovering From Birth

When you imagine your life after having a baby, it is easy to see the diapers, snuggling, and a slew of baby items taking up space in your house. And if you have been reading up on birth recovery, you know your physical needs will need to be a priority in those first weeks home as well. 

We want to share three real parts of recovering from birth in the U.S. that are becoming more and more "normal" but are still quite overwhelming and debilitating. Not because we want to scare you, but because it is never wrong to share about a potential struggle so it can benefit others from overcoming their own!

3 Normal Things in Postpartum Recovery That Can Feel Overwhelming

ONE - Anger, anxiety, and sadness will nestle into a new part of your awareness.

Many people in the U.S. are late to understand the magnitude of the "mindfulness movement" to heighten their emotional intelligence or participate more fully in their self-care rituals. Instead, it is common for feelings to be buried or ignored. Or more common, it is human nature to take any feelings of discomfort and pain and find ways to blame others as the cause. 

In the postpartum period, it is common to feel intense moods, positive and negative. Early stages are referred to as baby blues, and longer lasting symptoms may be signs of P.M.A.D.s like postpartum depression, or postpartum anxiety. Your feelings seem bigger, or maybe even out of control, and it may seem like you are a stranger to yourself. The postpartum person is one that deserves an immense amount of compassion and support. The feelings, changes, and experiences are all combined and are overwhelming. The overwhelm can feel debilitating. 

TWO - It is normal not to know what you want, or how to ask

Having a strong emotional ties to your baby is a developmental trait that has helped our species survive. AND it makes it very hard for some to accept help. But we also aren't designed to do parenthood in such small groups of only two-ish people! 

You may not have a lot of experience with a newborn.  You may not understand what is normal for them, let alone a new postpartum person.  And making sure everyone has what they need and want is a lot of stress! And let's not forget about the to-do lists and doctor appointments. Many women are taught from a very young age that they are the problem solvers and home makers, so learning to ask for help is a very hard thing to suddenly start doing if you have little practice with it.

THREE - Being a new parent with an infant is very, very lonely. 

Many families share with us things like they feel trapped, or they have no focus, they feel constantly tired, and their level of personal hygiene is surprising.

It is a drastic shift in time management when a newborn comes home. For very social people, having a new baby may mean their typical interactions are completely disturbed. And for those in a social circle who don’t have friends, they may find it hard to know how to help or talk about the new things going on in your life.

And for those who don’t have a wide social network that invites you out and helps you have a few shared experiences you enjoy, what seems like your normal behavior of spending time by yourself allows even less opportunity to ask for help.

Whether you are introverted or extroverted, we recommend having at least a two close friends commit to making a visit in the first weeks to spend face-to-face time with you.

Some Tools for working through these parts of postpartum healing: 

1. Since there is no getting away from this new you, advice straight from talk therapists is to "ground" yourself. Start by taking a deep breath to start, plant your feet firmly on the ground, and take a few breaths to imagine your breath traveling into your lungs, and then swirling around your limbs and organs until it reaches the farthest parts of you. Imagine your feet sinking into the floor.  Imagine being rooted to that spot for a few more deep breaths.  
   

2. And the second recommendation is to name what you feel as it is happening to you. By bringing awareness through naming, you are not letting your feelings take over, but you are respecting that they are important, and you see value in acknowledging all the work your mind and body are doing. 
   

3. Ask yourself these questions when you feel your emotions ramping up: "What would help me the most at this moment?" and "Are my basic needs being met?"
   
   If you have friends over, maybe what would help you the most is the garbage taken out — or getting a long hug from your partner — or going to the bathroom!  Take a minute to really look at that moment and forget about planning for what's next. 
   Another tool that helps to identify any needs that need attention is the acronym H.A.L.T.
   
   H.A.L.T. stands for hunger, anger, loneliness, and tired. If you are any of those things, getting those needs met needs to happen before other more complex decisions can be made.
   

Our Favorite Perks of an Overnight Doula

So often people ask, “Why would you want a doula overnight?”

Super simple.

Because it rocks.

While we think that everything about having a Postpartum Doula rocks, we’re going to share with you the benefits we find to be incredibly exceptional.

1 Your Baby has a Rested Caregiver

Look. Babies are demanding! They require a lot of mental, emotional, and physical effort. From rocking and bouncing to playing and entertaining, your baby needs a ton! That’s okay but every parent needs a bit of a reprieve to truly rest, knowing their little one is in the care of someone who is qualified. Having a Postpartum Doula overnight can be a chance for you to unplug all the way, not just partly. You’re able to trust that your baby’s needs will be responded too even if you’re sleeping peacefully.

2 You Get the Rest You Desperately Need

Parents. Need. Sleep. PERIOD. There is no way around it, there are no alternate options. Human beings must have sleep in order to function properly. If they don’t get it it could result in problems with cognition, mood, and response times. When do you need to be able to make quick decisions?

When you’re raising a child.

When do you need to have a seemingly infinite well of patience?

When you’re raising a child.

When is it important that you’re able to assess and respond to situations?

When you’re raising a child.

This combined with the incredibly close link between lack of sleep with Depression and Anxiety...well, you can pretty clearly see why parents need rest.

3 You Wake Rested and Ready to Take Care of Your Newborn

Taking care of your newborn is your newest responsibility.

On top of your home, your pets, plants, your work, possibly your other children...that’s not even accounting for the healing and care you need to take of yourself.

Seem overwhelming? It can be. And it’s worse if you’re not rested. Having help during the evenings and overnight can be the difference between a peaceful and productive day and one that leaves you frozen or near tears.

4 Overnight Help is for Breast and Bottle Feeding

The main benefit of overnight help? No. Diaper. Changes.

That may sound trivial but hear us out.

You wake, right? You hear baby crying and know they need to eat. The first thing you do is get up out of bed and get your baby from their crib or bassinet, wherever they’re sleeping, and feed them. Then? Then you have to change their diapers, burp them, re-swaddle them, and get them back to sleep. By this time you’ve fully woken up and it will likely take you awhile to get back to sleep.

Meanwhile, an hour has passed and your little one will be awake in an hour or two because, as we know, time between feeds is between the start of one to the start of the other. So two hours between feeds could still mean a 20-30 minute feed, 20-30 minutes doing the diaper-burp-swaddle routine, and then 30 minutes getting back to sleep.

In simple terms? You’re not getting any sleep.

Now, let’s add a Postpartum Doula to that mix.

You’re asleep. Your doula wakes you and brings baby to you, leaving them with you to nurse. They likely walk down to the kitchen to do some dishes or will fold a bit of laundry. You’ll nurse your baby, possibly even dozing off. Your doula is there, after all, baby is safe. As soon as baby is done nursing, you’ll hand them back to the caring hands of your doula and return to sleep while they change diapers, re swaddle, and soothe baby back to sleep.

Doesn’t that sound restful?

It is.

Listen, we’re super over the “parents must be martyrs” thing. You need rest too! Let’s push for a culture that values human lives over some supposed badge of honor that sleeplessness earns you.

You don’t get a badge of honor from losing sleep. But you DO get sleep when you hire a doula! And we think that’s pretty badass.

The Best-Kept Not-So-Secret in Pregnancy: Webster Technique

The best-kept not-so-secret in Pregnancy comfort is within reach.

Chiropractic care has long been a controversial subject when it comes to treating pregnant individuals. While there is some truth to the fact that expectant mothers shouldn’t see any chiropractor, the benefits of seeing a Chiropractor with additional training in the Webster technique is clear.

Overall, most patients report a decrease in their discomfort. If that’s not worth it, there is also anecdotal evidence that suggests alignment of the pelvis can help your baby get into a good position for birth and some patients have even begun labor soon after seeing their chiropractor!

Want to give Natural Induction a try? A Chiropractor may just be your answer!

The Webster Technique is a highly specialized method of treating those carrying a baby. By using modified positions, avoiding some areas, and adjusting the pelvis, your Chiropractor may be able to help you ease things like sciatic pain and general discomfort as your baby grows.

Your little one grows through your entire pregnancy.

(Yes, this is an obvious statement).

This combined with the hormone Relaxin can wreak havoc on your body. Relaxin is the hormone responsible for telling your joints and ligaments to loosen and allow for movement as your baby gets bigger and bigger. It’s responsible for incredibly fun things like your hips spreading but can also lend itself to the “unstable” feeling pregnant individuals often feel.

Bearing this in mind, Webster Certified Chiropractors know just how to work with your ever-changing joints and ligaments to ensure the safety of both you and your baby.

Now, there is a community that would have you believe that Chiro care is “snake oil” and there’s no reason you need it. If that’s you, fine. We’re all entitled to our own opinions, right?

However, Uptown Doula doesn’t subscribe to that. We love Chiropractors for quite a few reasons, including the fact that our clients have seen awesome results by seeing one regularly. Chiropractors are real-life doctors!

Yes, that type of doctorate.

In order to become a Chiropractor one must complete around 3 years of undergraduate education before entering a program to receive their Doctorate. They typically take 4 years to complete on top of the 3 years of undergrad. A Chiropractic degree requires education in anatomy, physiology, and biology as well as business practices and finance. They’re also supervised in a clinical setting before graduating.

Then…

They have to sit for a licensing exam! Not all Chiropractors are created equal and they aren’t legally allowed to treat patients until they’re both educated and licensed.

Basically what we’re saying is this: Chiropractors are legit.

They’re also not all created equally which is why we make sure to let our clients know that it’s important to seek out one who is specifically trained in the Webster Technique. The training involves ongoing reporting of findings as well as tests to maintain membership and ensure that everyone practicing the technique are up-to-date on new developments and the latest safety procedures.

Feeling the struggle of pregnancy wearing on your body? Can you guess what we’re going to recommend?

Seek Chiropractic care!

Oh, you’re looking for a recommendation?

Never fear! We have an amazing one.

Dr. Stefanie Gross is the one you want to see. Not only is she an ICPA Certified Chiropractor (meaning she can see you and your baby), she’s also a doula. You can probably imagine why we love that. Between growing up under chiropractic care and training extensively to promote wellness in families and children, she’s the perfect match for yours.

And, no, we’re not being paid to say this. We just love her!

If you’d like more information or to contact her, reach out to Adjusting the World Chiropractic in Huntersville, NC. You can find them at www.adjustingtheworld.com

All-in-all, we’ve seen excellent results in reduction of pain and facilitation of labor through the Webster Technique. Whether you’re looking for Natural Induction options or just a way to keep your active mom lifestyle, Chiro care may be a great fit for you.